Chasing Dignity

From the past

2009-05-06T20:25:00.002-06:00

Today I dug up a letter I wrote back in January 2007. It made me laugh. Re-posted now for your entertainment:

Hey folks,

Okay so interesting experience #17 at the US Capitol. I just got back from my lunch run to the senate cafeteria, where I got a small but tasteful little sandwich and an delectable piece of german chocolate cake. I had just returned to my desk when I began to hear a raucous sound coming from outside. So I, along with several of my office mates decided to saunter out into the hall to see what was transpiring. The Hart building where I work is 9 floors built around a central open atrium, and today, in the atrium were probably a hundred women dressed in pink, protesting the war. By the time I got there, they had linked hands and were running around in a human chain shouting things like "impeach bush!" and "bring them home". Pretty cool but nothing crazy as far as protests go. Then the women began herding up the stairs and on several balconiess could be seen holding big cloth banners that draped down several stories carrying slogans like "Peace Now" and "Give Bush the Pink Slip" and my personal favorite, and the reason I tried to call Miss Heather Harris during the rally was the sign that read "Women Say Pull Out!" Apparently the event was sponsored by Code Pink ( http://www.codepink4peace.org/) where I expect pictures to be up sometime soon.
After a few moments though, the capitol police began to arrive en masse to battle the jubilant women. The uniformed officers could be seen engaging in tugs of war with the women for the banners (which the officers mostly won, except for one particular struggle in which the feisty little woman (who appeared to be in her 50s) managed to free her sign and made a desperate bid for freedom, her big pink banner trailing behind her like a comet's tail... until one of the officers grabbed the sign from behind and halted her progress rather abruptly).
About this time, the people on the floor began to gather in a large group and were dancing and kicking like they were in a middle-aged mosh pit, all the while chanting "this is what democracy looks like!" Democracy is clearly doomed.
No arrests were made that I saw, and the pack began to break up about the time the capitol police got the megaphone going so I decided to wander back to my desk since it looked like most of the drama was over.

Reporting live from the US Capitol, this is Todd Olsen (who will be bringing his camera to work from now on).

Proofread much?

2009-05-03T23:14:00.002-06:00

Today I was at the planet'arium. One of my favoritest places. I love it there. In addition to finding new and exciting toys for my office I like to go because I get to watch movies and learn things at the same time. Win win. Today though I noticed for the first time that one of the exhibits contained a spelling mistake! How did that happen? If you're making a scientifical exhibit, wouldn't you at least make sure that all the words are spelled correctly? In case you're wondering the mistake was spelling "stretches" as "streches" Not huge, granted, but come on!

Oh who am I kidding? I love finding spelling mistakes. It makes me feel smugly superior (not that I needed much help in that department).

Also my trip to the planet'arium was notable today for another reason. I had another weird "date" with my mysterious and inscrutable friend. Cut to sitting with each other in the theatre, knees accidentally touching in the dark and not being moved away. Leaning in a little bit closer than absolutely necessary to whisper a comment. Tiny little intimate things that suggest that elusive romantic interest. And yet later, having dinner. Small talk. Work this, school that, blah blah blah. Nothing significant. Then it was over and we went our separate ways again.

I wonder how long this uncertainty can last before my natural penchant for disaster reasserts itself and I force the issue? I guess I'm not really in a rush. If I treat it like an intellectual puzzle I can keep it up for a long time (that's what she said).

Drama

2009-04-30T20:18:00.001-06:00

Here's the deal. I hate drama. Most of the time. Granted I am a shit
started and so sometimes I like to pick fights with people. And
there's nothing I love more than to wind up the Senior (Citizen) Stoner defense
attorney and then watch him go. But almost uniformly these fights are
with people outside my office, people I don't have to rely on and work
with every day. Like the old saying goes, don't shit where you eat.
So you'll understand when I say that it makes me nuts when people in
my very office make drama and involve me in it. Especially because I
have enough to deal with for the things I actually do and extra-
specially because as I have previously lamented I am the new guy and
still on probation and I already have a track record of getting into
trouble. So it's just about enough to make me scream. Maybe I should
just follow Karen's example and wear my headphones all day.

Sent from my phone.

Genius

2009-04-29T20:50:00.001-06:00

You will no doubt ask why this makes me so happy. And I will be totally unable to provide an answer other than to shrug my shoulders. Just accept that it does and try not to wonder too much more.

Don't I know you?

2009-04-29T08:31:00.002-06:00

Today as I was arriving at my place of employment (on time, mind you!), I came around the corner near the bank of elevators only to discover that a full car was leaving and one person was standing outside waiting. This person was Sun Dress secretary. Sun Dress secretary works on the same floor as me but is on a different team. Nevertheless, I've seen Sun Dress secretary most every day since I've been employed here. A little less than 8 months, in case you were keeping score.

Anyway, Sun Dress secretary and I get on the elevator together and she pushes the button to our floor. Then she turns to me and in an attempt to be very helpful says "which floor are you going to?" I respond with "same floor you are, of course."

She looks at me. Pauses. Looks away. Pauses. Looks back at me and says "Oh. Are you on the juvenile team?"

Polite smile, "Um.... yup. You walk by my office every day."

"Oh. Ummmm..... I thought you looked familiar."

Good thing I've made a lasting impression on these people.

Apprehension

2009-04-28T20:49:00.001-06:00

So here's the situation. My office is experiencing a tiny bit of a
financial crisis. To wit, we have to cut something in the range of
$2,000,000 from the budget. That's a lot of cashola. Further, I am at
the bottom of the proverbial totem pole. The very bottom. The part
that is just a couple inches above the dirt. Which means I'd be among
the very first to go if they decide to ax anyone. Actually in
retrospect the totem pole analogy doesn't really work since you can't
cut off the bottom of a pole without toppling the whole thing... Maybe
it's more like a hanging plant of some kind and I am the newest bud...
Not perfect but better.
But I digress. As the lowest bud I really hope they don't prune me.
That would really suck. I have an awesome job with awesome team mates
and an awesome amount of power to abuse. I don't even know what I'd
do. So while the powers that be promise us no one will lose their job,
I remain concerned. I really hope they don't get wise to all the screw
ups...

Also I made turkey tacos tonight and they were gooooood!

Sent from my phone.

Hey hot stuff!

2009-04-27T10:09:00.003-06:00

Now a comedic episode that is not at my expense. Today at work I was talking with Tall Secretary and she made a weird face and I told her not to waggle her eyebrows at me. Pregnant Secretary overheard and joked that Tall Secretary was hitting on me. We all laughed. Then I walked down the hall to get some water (while I still can). I was still talking with Tall Secretary but one of our law clerks walked past her and walked in to my neighbor's office. For some reason the law clerk was dressed in dungarees and a t-shirt. He then walked out and walked past the desks of Tall and Pregnant. Pregnant, still talking to me ,shouts out "Hey hot stuff!" At which point our law clerk freezes in his tracks, slowly turns around, and sheepishly walks back to Pregnant to see if in fact she was talking to him. When she realized what she'd done, she turned bright red. I turned red-er from sympathetic embarrassment. In short, it was awesome. This is the same secretary who once publicly offered to help me in the bathroom when she thought I said I had to grab something from my car. It's always good to know that there's someone more inclined to put their foot in their mouth than me.

Is it drafty in here...?

2009-04-26T11:13:00.002-06:00

I've been instructed once again to update my blog. So here we go again. It's cold and rainy today so I don't really feel like an extensive update. Of course most days I don't feel like an extensive update but today I am using the weather as an excuse. Although you might ask why does the weather outside affect my ability to go blah blah blah on my computer inside? I can't answer that.

Enough chatter.

This morning I decided to haul my sorry butt out of bed and to the grocery store. Not all together unusual for a Sunday morning. After my awesome date last night (and by "awesome" I mean "awful"), I didn't really feel like accomplishing anything today but of course I have to have food for the week. Not that I actually got enough food for the week. I'm really a terrible grocery shopper. I go in and get distracted by all the shiny things and I walk out without ever getting anything useful so I'll have lots of random things but only things that work when combined with other things that i didn't actually get (ie a can of chickpeas -- I guess i could grind it up and make hummus but then I'd need garlic...damn!).

Anywho, I'm at the grocery store. Doing the grocery store thing. The store is fairly busy. I notice that I seem to be getting more than the usual amount of odd looks from passersby. Undeterred I bravely continued shopping. I got my little basket full of random stuff and proceeded to check out and pay and leave the store. When I get to my car and put all my packages in the trunk then -- and only then -- do I notice that my zipper was down.

All the way down.

All the way.

All.

And I suspect it was down the whole time.

I really need new pants.

Oh yeah

2009-04-15T20:43:00.003-06:00

If only it really was this cool...

Credit goes to one S. Karen Beck, DDA.

Threats & Love

2009-04-01T15:56:00.002-06:00

Apparently I am long overdue for a blog update. I say apparently because I've been subtly pressured (read, threatened) by a certain lover of hairless cats today to update this blog and I am finally bowing to the inevitable.

I thought about writing a blog entirely devoted to updating this blog. I probably could wax on for multiple paragraphs about how good it will be when I've finally updated. But then i thought I'd get in trouble for following the letter of the law but not the spirit or somesuch stuff like that. So I'll just get on with it and write a substantive blog.

To wit:

Today my office was violated (again)! I knew it was April Fool's Day, but I did not expect to be the victim of a nefarious prank. Why? Because I have been pranked over and over and over again for the last 7 months. I thought for sure I was due for a break. Alas, no. Instead I arrived today to discover yellow police-style tape covering my office door. Realizing what this meant, I bravely approached my office and dared to peek inside. Hearts! Dozens of bright, pink and purple hearts. Everywhere! Defiled! Again! Who has this much time?

I've been meaning all day to take them down. But i'm afraid that the bright colors have overstimulated me and as such I've been rendered inert. Seriously. I can't do anything today except stare at the walls, which in turn are making me even less likely to do anything... I hate vicious cycles.

brownie goodness

2009-02-12T10:11:00.001-07:00

This brownie was made just for me. If you can't read it, it says "you rock."

And I sure do!

harumph

2009-02-09T13:55:00.002-07:00

I'm bored... Again. Not really a good sign for a Monday. That means I have a whole week ahead of me filled to the breaking point with boredom. I guess I do have a trial on Wednesday that will be mildly exciting. But given that I am a huge procrastinator I can't possibly start getting ready for it until tomorrow afternoon.
On top of that, all my usual sources for amusement have dried up on me. Friend working and shooed me out of her office. Other friend not here. Other friends in different buildings working, can't answer email.

My nemesis across the hall is providing some amusement but it's more scorn-based. He's talking on the phone and he sounds all big and tough but I've walked by many times and seen him napping. Plus he swears... a lot. I'm not a prude or anything and I certainly appreciate the value of a good epithet to convey exactly the right emotional point, but to swear consistently defeats the purpose and makes you seem stupid. That's the end of my fuckin' soap box on that one.

Also I sent my movie date?/friend? a text message this weekend asking if he wants to hang out and he never responded, so i'm guessing that I have the answer from my earlier post.

court is boring!

2009-02-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes court is boring. Today is one of those days. Also I have a trial this afternoon and I am totally unprepared for it. But its against a lazy defense attorney so I am none too worried.

Awkward...?

2009-01-30T21:42:00.002-07:00

I generally think I'm pretty good with people. I don't tend to get too caught up in silly things and I think I'm easy to get along with (although when I receive motions to suppress on Friday afternoons it's all I can do not to go completely circus-freak crazy and declare jihad, but that's another post).

I point this out only because tonight was one of those rare circumstances when I had absolutely NO idea how to handle the interpersonal situation in which I found myself. To wit: I kind of had a date tonight but it was also not a date. A few years ago I met this guy and we became friends, then we dated for awhile. Then we both moved away and we lost contact for a couple years. We reconnected a few weeks ago and we were finally able to hang out tonight. We went and saw the movie Doubt (which was a good movie (and we also ran into my judge there which was totally unexpected)) and I spent the whole time trying to decide whether we were there on a date or there as friends. It was really bizarre to know someone pretty well and to have a history and still have no idea how to deal with them. Sometimes we'd laugh and look at each other and it was one way and then 10 seconds later it was the opposite. It was maddening!

Now I sit here puzzled. I guess this is just the control freak in me trying to put everything into its neat little category with its little label so that i know how to process it. I should probably not stress about it and just let whatever happens happen... Good luck with that, I know.

Oh well, I guess since I can't do anything about it I'm going to do something productive like clean up my kitchen.

here's another thing i hate

2009-01-26T20:23:00.002-07:00

I hate these random quizzes things. But i do like the pretty pictures at the end:

You Are An INTP

The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.

Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.

Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.

A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

In love, you are an easy person to fall for. But you're not an easy person to stay in love with.

Although you are quite flexible, you often come off as aloof or argumentative.

At work, you are both a logical and creative thinker. You are great at solving problems.

You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

How you see yourself: Creative, fair, and tough-minded

When other people don't get you, they see you as: arrogant, cold, and robotic

What's Your Personality Type?

Also I hate it when my entire courtroom team is out sick.

Why I hate Logan

2009-01-19T18:54:00.002-07:00

It's weird to grow up in a small town. You are constantly seeing people you know, even the ones you don't like, it's just inevitable. Then you move away for awhile and embrace the relative anonymity that a city like Salt Lake provides (and granted this isn't exactly a metropolis but it's a heckuva lot bigger than Logan) and you forget what it's like in said small town. Then you go home for a few days, and have breakfast at the local hot spot restaurant and encounter spadefulls of people you know from years gone by. And of course that means I have to explain over and over again what I'm doing: Yes I'm a lawyer. Yes I'm a big time prosecutor. Yes that is cool. No I haven't seen (insert random name from the past) lately. Oh really, she had another child? No I'm not married. Yes, I have a boyfriend -- didn't expect that one did you? (that last part isn't strictly true but its comic value is off the charts). No, sadly I won't be able to help your cousin with her divorce but give her my best... Etc. Meanwhile my eggs have gone cold.

I guess it's cool that people care enough about me to ask me things like that. I mostly attribute it to my parents being somewhat notorious figures (in small town terms). And I guess there is a part of me that really does long for that kind of small town connected feeling. I noticed in the paper there was an opening for a deputy county attorney. Maybe I'll apply...

"Justice"

2009-01-12T09:57:00.003-07:00

I told myself I wouldn't blog about work, at least not about the specifics of my work because I have to deal with sensitive, important stuff and all that. Despite that earlier promise, I encountered a situation today that cries out for at least a mention, because it has me very upset. I was screening a case today in which there are 3 co-defendants. All three did exactly the same thing. When they get busted, the police officer that responded charged two of them with class B misdemeanors and charged the other kid with a third degree felony. I jokingly told my paralegal that the third kid must be a minority... and it turns out he is! That is the only difference! I am outraged by this police officer who thinks the two white kids should get slaps on the wrists while the little latino kid should be severely punished when all three did the exact same thing. Of course I fixed it and charged all three at the same level, but I am still outraged that this kind of crap happens. Thats all.

Defiled!

2009-01-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

I have been victimized.

Again!

The sanctity of my office has been invaded (again) by unsavory, criminal minded fiends (again). Observe the nefarious acts of vile depredation below:

Now I am many things. But a 10 year old girl is NOT one of them. So to come in and discover that someone has festooned my office with stickers of teddy bears, High School Musical, and most deplorably of all... Hannah Montana(!)... Well let's just say that my suffering was great.

I vow to track down the culprit of this heinous act and exact my revenge!

It begins

2009-01-01T15:38:00.003-07:00

Jan 1 is finally here. That means the long awaited weight loss competition can commence. My court room team has agreed to each contribute $5 into a pool and the person who has lost the highest percentage of weight by the end of January wins the entire pool. I plan to win, naturally. Since part of this process requires public accountability, my starting weight this morning is a ghastly 228.8 lbs(!).

Vacation Photos

2008-12-31T22:31:00.003-07:00

So I was gently reprimanded today that I had not followed through with my earlier promise to upload some vacation photos. Such a slacker!

If you must know, I haven't uploaded the photos heretofore because I'm not entirely sure how to do so. I guess I'll make an attempt here. No one will be more surprised than this guy if I succeed.

Well... Maybe. Sunny, warm and wonderful, no?

Technological irony

2008-07-18T09:17:00.000-06:00

Currently struggling to make it through the Utah state bar convention
- struggling after my wild night in sun valley - and now we're
listening to a presentation from the co founder of Apple computers. It
is actually pretty interesting but I'm only half paying attention
because I'm too busy playing on my Iphone. I'm using his own
technology against him. Muhaha!

Sent from my Iphone.

Mediation training continues.

2008-06-05T14:20:00.001-06:00

For our "working lunch" we watched the movie Turning Loose, which I
was surprised to learn was not about Danielle. I submit that we should
have more parables about horses. I'd be much more engaged.

Mediation Training:Day 2

2008-06-05T10:21:00.000-06:00

Inspired by recent events I have decided to resume the tedious work of
blogging as a way to avoid the tedium of the mediation training. Not
that its all bad, I'm just having a hard time paying attention to
anything today. I hate this early morning crap. I really should try to
get some more sleep. Especially since tonight I have my joint training
session with danielle. I am so sore from yesterday but no matter how
much I hurt I will not give her the satisfaction of beating me.
Internal trauma be damned- I will out perform her!

Sent from my phone.

Back

2008-05-11T23:36:00.001-06:00

Just now I have hopefully configured my high tech toy to allow me to
blog on the go, so to speak. As this seems to be a period of doubt and
uncertainty for me, maybe I'll respond by blogging?

We'll see...

Sent from my phone

2008-05-11T23:32:00.001-06:00

Sent from my phone.

your two dum

2006-07-02T22:36:00.000-06:00

I’d be much more likely to believe the results of a Myspace quiz if the author of said quiz could 1) demonstrate a functional grasp of the “your vs. you’re” distinction, and 2) spell any other words properly. For example, I just found out I am a good friend because I “keep other’s people’s secretes.” It’s a good thing I have lots of mason jars around the house… (And yes I realize that those words are all technically spelled properly but since ‘secrete’ serendipitously conveys a meaning that was (hopefully) different than the one the author intended to convey, I’m counting it as a misspelling.)

it's not every day the Devil makes my life better

2006-06-23T23:49:00.000-06:00

Jacob's bad luck: Is it . . . Satan?
Bedeviled: His business deals have been delayed, keeping him from fully funding his campaign

This was one of the above the fold stories in today’s Salt Lake Tribune. Rep. Chris Cannon from Utah’s deeply Republican congressional Third District is facing a difficult primary challenge this year from local businessman John Jacobs. This election has essentially become a referendum on President Bush’s election policy with Rep. Cannon supporting the guest worker program and Jacobs essentially advocating mass deportation of all illegal aliens. Jacobs has raised a strong challenge by capitalizing on the jingoistic (dare I say racist?) tendencies of rural Utahns.

Additionally, one of my friends is employed by the Jacobs campaign. Now despite the fact that we’re friends, there are few things I enjoy more than watching this guy twist in the wind… and today his boss delivered a great little gift to me in the form of this article in which he rants that the Devil is actively opposing his bid for Congress. Apparently Jacobs presence in Congress would so confound Satan’s work that the Prince of Darkness is causing the businesses owned by Jacobs to suffer. It couldn’t be that this guy is simply out of his league and is reaping the consequences of his overreaching.

I love it. Now to work out exactly the right vehicle to torment my campaign working friend… hee hee hee.

Terror comes with a 39 cent stamp

2006-06-22T17:09:00.000-06:00

Yikes! Talk about your frightening surprises. I just retrieved my mail and included with my Netflix selections for today was a little envelope from the Utah State Bar. It contained the month-to-go-before-the-exam instructions. It lists where to go and what to do for the test and gave a brief overview of the testing procedures. Admittedly it didn’t contain much I didn’t already know, but it was still a frightening reality check. The worst test of my life is just a month away! Is it too late to call the whole thing off and become a doctor?

There was one bright spot to the whole letter though that made it worth reading:

"Although the building is air conditioned, 100-degree weather, the large numbers of applicants, and the heat generated by laptop computers results in the test rooms becoming unavoidably warm as the day progresses... You will find the test room cool in the morning, but increasingly warm as the day progresses. Please dress accordingly."

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this test only administered to people who have finished at least four years of college and three years of law school? Shouldn't you expect that such people would be intelligent enough to reason out that it's hot in Salt Lake City at the end of July? Maybe I should take comfort in the fact that the bar examiners think we're dumb enough not to understand basic concepts like weather and so will test us with similarly low expectations on our comprehension of legal concepts? I can always hope...

Home and dry

2006-06-21T17:25:00.000-06:00

Another fabulous day at the taco factory is behind me. It was a pretty good day today, and people were in a good mood in general, leading to pretty decent tips today. Woo-hoo! Of course my joy at a productive and profitable day is tempered by the fact that when I came home from work I discovered that the water in my condo had been turned off as part of some routine maintenance. So now I’m sitting in my underwear, smelling of tacos, and hoping that the maintenance workers finish up soon so that I can degrease myself. Exciting, no?

Career? What career?

2006-06-20T22:02:00.000-06:00

Well some time has passed since my last post so allow me to summarize the events of the last few months. I finished up law school. Actually managed to graduate! I even passed my bankruptcy final. Whoda thunk it?

Since then I’ve begun the painful and humiliating process of bar exam preparation. I’m enrolled in a commercial bar review course and it’s about as painful as I imagine the trip to the dentist I’ve been avoiding will be. Actually the review course is probably worse. They pack us in like sardines to the review course and force us to listen to hours and hours of lectures on the subjects covered by the state bar examiners. It’s actually a pretty slick system but my bad attitude keeps me from really appreciating it. Well… my bad attitude and my inveterate slackerishness.

Meanwhile, the job hunt continues. I’m really not all that crazy to be a practicing lawyer. I’ve mostly enjoyed the work experiences I’ve had, especially with Lisa’s firm I can’t say I’ve been inspired. When I look back over my life, I find that the time I spent working in Washington was some of the most inspiring. My fabulous, anthrax filled days working as an intern were some of the few times I really felt like I was part of something larger than myself and that I was working for something good. I had to leave DC because I was interning there in between my junior and senior years of college. Now that I’ve finished college and (amazingly) law school, I can’t help but wonder if it’s time to try again. I am a little bit torn at this point because I’m in a position now where I could take a really excellent job here in Salt Lake and enter the practice of law, or I could chance it all and move to DC and hope I find something really love.

So for now I’m just concentrating on taking the bar exam. Although I keep hoping that some fabulous job in DC opens up that I’m forced to take immediately and therefore must regrettably refrain from taking the bar. Since that’s not likely to happen right away I guess I’m in for the long haul here. Speaking of which, it’s probably time I turn off my DVD review of the Simpsons (season 5) and get back to Conflicts of Law…

Greasing the slide to Hell

2006-04-21T14:16:00.000-06:00

So today I had one of those ‘oh shit’ moments when you realize that you’re vastly underprepared for something.  With me, that moment was squarely centered on my bankruptcy class.  Just as I was settling down to sleep last night, my eyes popped open and I started to sweat as I realized that my exam is on Monday and I haven’t studied for it at all.  And I mean at all.  All semester, I kinda put it on the back burner, instead choosing to spend my time on addictinggames.com.  In retrospect this may not have been the wisest course of action, but then again I’ve never claimed to be particularly brilliant – evidenced by the fact that I decided to take bankruptcy in the first place.  Sigh…  The sad thing is that bankruptcy could have really been an interesting class except for a few minor drawbacks.  Number one of course being my charming professor who spoke in such a soothing monotone voice that he could have made a living charming kids with ADHD.  Second, the fact that last year Congress significantly reworked the bankruptcy code and now no one really knows if anything is still good law.  Since the laws only went into effect in October ’05, there haven’t been many cases interpreting the various new provisions.  So after the first few classes, when I would listen intently to a lecture only to have it summed up by the caveat “That was the old law.  We’ll have to see if it’s still good.”

I haven’t lost all hope yet.  There’s always the chance that I can be horribly burned at work tonight or get struck by a meteor, or get abducted by aliens.  The sky really is the limit.

Also this morning I had the pleasure of undergoing my financial aid exit interview.  In sum, this is where they sit you down and gleefully remind you that you have mortgaged your soul for your education and that it would be better for you to go without food, heat, and shelter rather than miss a single payment.  Talk about uplifting!  Then they hook you up with this little amortization table that shows you how much interest you’re going to pay over the next ten to twenty years… I think ‘yikes!’ just about covers it.  Thank goodness I lived relatively frugally during law school (although that frugality will have been for not if I can’t ever find a job).  No wonder lawyers drink.

Oh and before I forget.  The one thing I remember from my bankruptcy class is that student loans are almost impossible to discharge.  So much for that plan…

Outlining sucks

2006-04-19T22:42:00.000-06:00

Netflix is great.  It’s like Christmas every couple of days.  Well… Christmas on a shoe-string budget.  It’s particularly great during finals time as it gives me ample opportunities to avoid the work I should be doing, (i.e. studying for entertainment law).  Today I happened upon an outline for that class, so it takes a ton of weight off me.  Though not literally as I happened to eat way too much for dinner tonight.  I went to Bombay House with Brad and Emily and ate a huge amount of a spicy chicken dish with coconut milk and rice with cilantro.  Good times.  I’m hoping to hit my stride with this studying thing soon.  What the heck was I thinking setting up a schedule with four finals during my last semester?

Yesterday at the Minority Law Caucus auction, I ended up buying a dinner for four at Professor Kogan’s house.  $85!  It had better be darned tasty.  This was a total peer pressure moment where my friends Brett and John stared me down until I bid on the stupid dinner.  The thing is, Kogan hates me!  Well… he may not hate me, but considering that my seminar paper was for his class and I turned it in over a year and a half late, and as such I had spent the last 18 months ducking every time I saw him coming down the hall…

So I’m sitting here, enjoying my Netflix selection of the week, slowly working my way through the fourth season of the HBO series OZ, and resolving not to commit crimes.  Frankly I don’t think I’d make a good prisoner.  I’m just not angry enough.  Anyway, my attention is wandering so I’ll wrap this up.

last last day

2006-04-18T17:18:00.000-06:00

So today was my last day of classes.  Again, my last last day of school.  Wow.  It’s starting to sink in, but it still hasn’t yet.  Granted I still have two yucky weeks of finals ahead of me and I’m not entirely sure that I’ll be able to pass my bankruptcy class, but assuming that I somehow make it through, I’m gonna graduate!

Tonight is the family law clinic.  Yee-hah.  This is a great project where people with family law related problems and who are unable to afford an attorney come to the courthouse and are assisted by law students and lawyers free of charge.

It’s a great cause and it really helps people but at the same time it’s sometimes hard to handle because by and large because we’re often dealing with people without much formal education and who feel completely overwhelmed by the system.  So I go and I listen and I try to help with what little knowledge I have.  And I worry that I’m steering people in the right direction, that I’m giving people good advice that will help them and not mess them up further.  In the end though, I think that a big part of the job there is just to listen to people who may not have anyone else to talk to them and who can help them take the next step.

And tonight I get to be in charge!  Oh the abuses of power will be rampant!  Well… at least to the extent that one can abuse the ability to hand out forms to the volunteers…  So I’m off there now so that I can be ready to help the thronging masses.

Duck and cover

2006-04-17T18:27:00.000-06:00

So it’s time for another posting.  My good friend James tells me that it only takes fourteen consecutive repetitions of something before that thing becomes a habit.  He was stating this in reference to me working out regularly, but if it’s true it’s probably applicable to things like blogging.  So I’m starting a challenge with myself today:  Blog for fourteen consecutive days (quality of the content not necessarily being my highest goal) and see if it sticks.  This is day one.  Good times so far.

As far as updates go, tomorrow is last last day of school.  Possibly forever!  Who’d have thunk that I’d make it this far.  Frankly I expected to die in a particularly spectacular fashion sometime ago…

Nevertheless, kudos to me.  Since I managed to complete my seminar paper last week (only 2 years behind schedule) things have seemed much better.  I didn’t realize how heavily that darned paper had been weighing on my conscience.  Now that it’s done, I can begin to concentrate on the four finals I have to take this semester.  Oh gosh. Probably should have started those earlier too…  Oh well.  No time to live in the past.

The Daily Utah Chronicle Online

2006-04-17T17:57:00.000-06:00

The Daily Utah Chronicle Online

Causing panic

2005-10-10T17:29:00.000-06:00

As mentioned, I’m something of a slacker when it comes to my homework. Take last night for instance. As part of my grade for my Constitutional Interpretation in Congress class (taught by a federal circuit court judge widely rumored to be on the short list for the supreme court, but tragically skipped over twice (but he’s not bitter)), I’m required to write 2, 5 to 10 page papers expounding on a section from our textbooks. The papers have to be electronically submitted by 6:00 am the morning before the class in which we are supposed to discuss them. I’ve know about this paper requirement since the beginning of the school year. I’ve had my topic selected for almost as long. I had an entire week free from classes in which to write my paper, and so naturally I was at the law library at 7:00 pm last night thinking I should probably start on that paper…

Many hours later… I’m not done yet but the library closes down at 11:00 pm so I decided to pack up my belongings and head home. I don’t normally drive home since I live on the TRAX line but it was cold and I was in a foul mood so I decided my convenience was worth the money I’d spend in gas. I live in downtown Salt Lake in a high-rise condominium. Parking facilities are underneath the building. At any rate, I get into my parking garage and make it to the elevator room where a middle aged Asian woman was waiting for the elevator to arrive. I recognize her as my neighbor from across the hall on my floor. So I said a quiet hello and we proceeded to wait in silence for the elevator. It arrived, we enter, she presses the button and we wait. The elevator arrives on our floor; we get off and turn down the hallway to the right. I was trying to be respectful so I gave her a head start and I noticed as she was walking, she kept looking over her shoulder at me. I thought she was just being rude and kept walking. Then as we got to the point where she should have turned left to go into her house, she instead makes a right turn and starts fiddling with the lock on mine! I quickly caught up to her and was about to demand that she explain her actions. She shot me a panicked look and that’s when I caught a glimpse of the unit number. It was 506. I live in 606. I was on the wrong floor. This middle aged Asian was not my neighbor. She turned out to be my neighbor’s cousin (which explains the resemblance) from the floor below. So here I was, chasing this poor woman down, scaring the heck out of her when all she wanted to do was go home. When I realized my mistake I stood there for a moment and said, lamely, “Oh. I guess I don’t live here, do I?” Then I chuckled softly… She was absolutely silent. I took this as my cue to go on and explain my actions as best I could. “I got off on the wrong floor… hahaha...” At that point, she realized I wasn’t a desperate criminal, just a confused student and she smiled and forgave my mistake… Then I went home. Good times. I’m just glad she didn’t have any pepper spray. Ouch!

Wake up! There's misfortune to be had.

2005-10-07T00:13:00.000-06:00

So I’ve had this blog for a few days now.  At least once each day, I’ve gotten to this point and stopped, unable to tackle the white space demon and get an entry started.  All that’s behind me now because I’m able to write about my own previous inability to write.  Funny how things work out.

I’m not really sure what tales will eventually grace these pages, but judging from the experiences of my first 24 years of life, they’re likely to be painful (for me), will probably result in a broken limb or two before I’m done, and hopefully provide a chortle from time to time.

To give you a tiny and carefully reconstructed version of my life thus far…  I am a third year law student at the University of Utah (BCS Busters!), poised on the treacherous edge of adulthood.  I was born and raised in a small college town in northern Utah.  Since graduating from said college, I packed up my bags, committed myself to three years of havoc and mayhem and escaped to the sprawling metropolis of Salt Lake City.  We are currently on Fall Break—a time when the smart and dedicated law students use their freedom from classes to get caught up in their outlining and reading and when I hang black sheets in my window so the noontime sun doesn’t wake me.  So needless to say, I’m not exactly editor in chief of law review.  In high school and college, I always wondered who the people were at the bottom of the class.  In law school, I’m discovering that it’s me.  And I’m surprisingly okay with that.  While class standing and the invariable tie to future employment potential should be enough to cause consternation in someone that is shelling out more money for his education than his parents paid for their first house… I’d still rather hang some sheets and catch a few extra hours of sleep.

Speaking of sleep, it’s rapidly approaching 2:00 am so I’ll sign off for tonight, but expect to hear from me again in the near future.

Legal Briefs Incident

2004-12-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

I really should be studying for my BusOrgs midterm so I'll be brief, but I wanted to relay a small and embarrassing slice of my life. I totally pulled a Todd! I'm sitting here at the library, red-faced and trying hard to avoid any public contact. The reason? Well last night I was studying late at the library and when I got home I was dead tired so I wearily shed my clothes and piled them on top of my slightly overflowing laundry basket. Today, as is my habit, I slept into the very last minute possible in order to make it to class on time. So when the alarm sounded, I leapt into my clothes and brought along my Utah hooded sweatshirt since you never know if it will rain/be freezing in class. Routine so far.

Today however, when I arrived at school, I dashed into the library to pick up my books and as I was walking through the main floor, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to face a person I don't know. She smiled sweetly at me and said "I think you dropped something back there" and turned away. Thanking her, I looked in the general direction and noticed an odd bit of fabric about 20 feet behind me. I advanced towards it and upon closer inspection, I realized that the mysterious cloth was in fact, *wait for it* MY FREAKIN UNDERWEAR!

That's right. Apparently when I grabbed my sweater, I also brought along with it the boxers I was wearing yesterday. Somehow they managed to remain lodged inside the sweatshirt until precisely the moment when I was surrounded by my colleagues. God's sense of humor never fails to amaze me...

Lets hope the joke is over by the time I take my test!